Everything I Want To Say To Girls Who Settle In Their Relationships
This has been tugging at my heartstrings for a while now and Im finally brave enough to put it out there. Without trying to sound like a therapist, marriage counselor or all-around raging lunatic, Ill break the news to you all: Healthy relationships and marriages do still exist.
There. I said it.
Its something thats been on the tip of my tongue for so long now, mostly because I see so many of my friends and family members struggle with this daily.
Their relationship with their boyfriend sucks, yet they still keep hanging on to that burning rope like their precious life depends on it. Or, their marriage is in shambles because their priorities are more out-of-whack than Miley Cyrus wardrobe, but theyre still hanging on.
Is this really the norm weve created? Is this what we honestly think relationships and marriages are supposed to look like?It bothers me.
Ill be the first to admit it. I grew up with divorced parents and honestly never had a good example of what a real marriage should look like. I didnt have #relationshipgoals to look up to. I didnt have that sweet dad who bought my mom flowers for no good reason, or that mom who still smacked my dads ass after 30 years of marriage.
So, how did I end up in a marriage that most deem as relationship goals? I had no basis for this, no family history of healthy relationships and I most certainly didnt just fall into this fairytale by some magical stroke of luck. (Because if were talking luck, thats something that swerves me harder than a baby daddy whos three months late on child support payments.)
But, you know what I did do? I didnt settle until I found a person who fed my soul, who made me a better person than I could ever dream of being by myself and who treated me like I was the rarest crystal he could find on this entire planet. Because, you know what?
We were taught lessons on self-worth in elementary school guidance class, but its a lesson that clearly didnt stick for most of us. Knowing your self-worth is crucial. Knowing that by yourself, you are completely, 110 percent whole is so, so, important.
You are perfectly created and you are worthy of nothing less than that person I described above. Know that. Always know that and always remember that. And until you find someone who treats you like the badass that you are, do not settle. I repeat, do not settle.
We settle for a lot of things in life. We settle for jobs we dont really want, we settle for a price on a new car because were too impatient to search for a better deal and we settle for a less-than-mediocre score on a college admissions test because were too lazy to take it again.
Maybe I sound biased because you think I dont settle like Im some kind of super human or something. Maybe I sound biased because I just described my marriage like its something out of a Nicholas Sparks novel. Or, maybe you think I never went through that searching phase or that I have always known my self-worth.
And, just maybe, youre wrong about every single bit of that.
You search, you learn from your mistakes, you dig for more answers and most of all, you keep moving until you find someone in this big world whos worthy of you. If you didnt pay attention to that in elementary school, please take note now.
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